Monday, December 12, 2011
Watching Molly fear today made me think of my own hangups. The things that I avoid because I get a cold sweat and my heart races. Should I avoid them, or should I force my way through, like Molly had to do? My hangups limit me, but sometimes I think it is OK to have acceptance and give myself a little grace. Or at least have a little tranquilizer to take. I had to do that for a while for flying and going to the dentist. Eventually I overcame both ridiculous fears. Of course there are other fears that are realistic ones. Fear is there to protect us from danger and to dismiss it would be foolhardy. It is just difficult sometimes sorting out between the two.
Sunday, December 11, 2011
I need a few more big cries before we head south, as I realize that I have been repressing emotions for a while now. As I am an emotional girl, my vessel is plumb full needs to drain. The horses and the plants don't seem to mind.
It warmed my heart seeing the horses run to me and, for the record, I didn't even have hay. We are back on the ranch ranch for a few days of R&R. While it isn't physically hard caring for my parents, it is restricting and draining, and I was getting very emotional and neurotic. Our oldest son volunteered took to fill in for us and, by all accounts, is doing a great job. It relieves my mind knowing that we now have a back up caretaker.
The weather and beauty of these Humboldt hills are a blessing and I have been spending my time enjoying the view from my living room window and also from the back of a horse.