Monday, December 12, 2011

Molly's Makeover

I decided to invest the money I received from selling Stormy, who has bad arthritis,  to getting some training for Molly;  the ex brood mare, toss Mark in the ditch horse.   It might be throwing money away, but I wanted to give her a decent shot at being a good horse. She is not very pretty, but I rode her quite a bit this summer and she has a delightful way of moving and an innate lightness.  A real joy to ride.  She does have a couple of hangups though.  One being herd bound.  For a while I had a very difficult time getting her to leave her friends, but she has improved a lot in this area and I know she can overcome this.  Her big hangup though is trailering.  I fed her in the trailer for a month this summer and she would enter and eat, but I never felt confident that I could load her and I was afraid of getting hurt, so I never attempted loading.  Molly had some bad experiences in the trailer before us and has a real phobia.  I am hoping the trainer can help her get over this.  We will see.  It took her (the trainer is an awesome young lady) an hour and half to load her today.  I was amazed at the trainer's calm and patience.  Poor Molly has met her match in stubbornness I think.    

Watching Molly fear today made me think  of my own hangups.  The things that I avoid because I get a cold sweat and my heart races.  Should I avoid them, or should I force my way through, like Molly had to do?  My hangups limit me, but sometimes I think it is OK to have acceptance and give myself  a little grace.  Or at least have a little tranquilizer to take.   I had to do that for a while for flying and going to the dentist.  Eventually I overcame both ridiculous fears.  Of course there are other fears that are realistic ones.  Fear is there to protect us from danger and  to dismiss it would be foolhardy.  It is just difficult sometimes sorting out between the two.

Sunday, December 11, 2011

Squash Anyone?

 I missed harvest.  It made me cry a little, but I was happy to be able to go out and gather the winter squash and I even found a couple of eggplants and some peppers.  We have a lot more cleaning to ready the garden for winter, but we got a good start on it today. 
 I missed all of the pears as well, but there are a few apples left.  These little tiny apples taste wonderful, and thier size is just right for a quick bite or two. 

I mostly have been trying to spend my time with the horses, cleaning them up and riding.  Being away from them for almost 3 months has made me realize what a horse gal I am.  It is interesting how I am so much more decisive about what I like and don't like.  I am beginning to realize how fleeting life is and how important it is to enjoy today the best that you can.  Even if that means pausing a time or two for a big cry.

I need a few more big cries before we head south, as I realize that I have been repressing emotions for a while now.  As I am an emotional girl,  my vessel is plumb full needs to drain. The horses and the plants don't seem to mind.

Mama's Home

It warmed my heart seeing the horses run to me and, for the record, I didn't even have hay.  We are back on the ranch ranch for a few days of R&R. While it isn't physically hard caring for my parents, it is restricting and draining, and I was getting very emotional and neurotic. Our oldest son volunteered  took  to fill in for us and, by all accounts, is doing a great job. It relieves my mind knowing that we now have a back up caretaker.

The weather and beauty of these Humboldt hills are a blessing and I have been spending my time enjoying the view from my living room window and also from the back of a horse.