I see accidents that could happen all around me. I feel a burden to be on the lookout. Constantly. I know this is ridiculous and debilitating and I am pushing through it. But still, the line is thin. The image of Mark's still body on the rocks haunts me.
I think on what to do with these feelings and I know that Love is the answer. My husband will die, whether or not it is before me I don't know but if I live a life of love I won't have regrets. Stop trying to control everything and just open my heart and my mind to all the wonders that surround me. Embrace the ugly, at least in my heart. Forgive and forget. Freedom lies in this path I think.
Good words. I understand your feelings as I had similar feelings a few years ago when Betty had her horse accident. We decided we didn't want fear to control our lives, but we would also learn from the experience. We still ride horses, but we now wear helmets.
ReplyDeleteDan
Live strong TJ, love strong, and make every day count. Make every minute count.
ReplyDeletePrayers for the family, and for you guys.
Such a sad thing to have happen. I am sorry to hear that. I to struggle with the fear thing as you know. Really even if we lived in a bubble there are still dangers all around us. I believe you just really need to listen to the holy spirit. you will know if it something you shouldn't do:) IT is hard when you look death in the face or when you think someone you love is gone it really makes it real and it sticks with you forever. But like me I am learning to let go and let god but not be reckless:)
ReplyDeleteThis struck a chord with me. I think sometimes if we experience too much misfortune over a short period of time, we tend to get caught up in a compulsive need to prevent more misfortune or tragedies. At that point we are living in fear or letting our fear control us. It's a tough cycle to break out of.
ReplyDeleteMy heart hurt all day for all the people who lost a loved one when this accident happened.
ReplyDeleteI have this godawful skill of being able to imagine all kinds of accidents. I wish I didn't have it, but maybe it does make me more aware of all the gifts that I have...
ReplyDelete- The Equestrian Vagabond
There's a crack in the Swallowtail's wing but she still
ReplyDeleteflies free.
Nice comment anonymous. Thanks.
ReplyDelete